Monday, November 14, 2005

Case of the Mondays

Today started out just like a Monday. First, there was a huge accident on the Kennedy, which kept me in standstill traffic. When I finally did arrive at the office way past my intended destination time, I was ready to be hooked up to a coffee IV. I got a fresh cup of ghetto office coffee, sat at my desk, then POURED it all down my front. This is always a good look; nice and professional. And third degree burns on my lap feel AWESOME at 7 am. I did not curse out loud. I really should get a raise.

I think all the clumsiness is Mercury retrograde or some hippie crap. Everything has been screwy these past few days.

I had a looming deadline today, too. In honor of me being tired of looking at a computer screen, I'm taking the "list" route. I'm the quintessential list maker, after all. Here is what I've learned today (you must learn something every day):

I am a dork. I think I want a subscription to Scientific American for Christmas.

European men use the word "delighted" a lot. It sort of creeps me out.

I got an offer on my piano today; it was low; in fact, I think it was way too low because I'm more attached to it than I thought I was. Still, it was low. Insulting, even. I almost went Jersey on her…

My roommate was attacked by our house ghost yesterday, we believe; it made her topple down the stairs. I may have to stage an exorcism. But I need to check the level of the vodka bottle first.

I was called a "princess" today by a coworker. I am not a princess. I mean, I don't even own anything, for chrissake. Don't princesses OWN stuff and boss people around? Although, I think I could be very comfortable living the life of a princess. Especially today - this whole work thing is completely overrated.

When making a much-needed run to Starbucks in the late afternoon, I realized that I have a somewhat Pavlovian response to the seasonal red cups. They signify the start of the holiday season…I get a little giddy and start wagging my tail. Strange phenomenon.

Fall is contemplative season. I'm still in it, contemplating away. I am planning a "contemplation weekend", complete with some old cheesy 80s movies (including the must see every year, "About Last Night"). There will be retail therapy, as well as brunch with me, myself, and a good book.

It's getting colder....supposed to snow this week. People keep telling me I need a shovel. I think I need a man to be attached to the shovel so I don't break a nail.

Maybe I was a princess in a former life. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow morning, the coffee stain will be gone, and my mail will have the last name "Hilton" on it.

I'll keep my day job. But tomorrow, it's Starbucks first thing in the more of that ghetto office crap. Just like a princess.