In my latest post, I stated the following concerning said friend Mockarena:
"I believe we're friends primarily for one reason and one reason alone: we both feel that Prince is heterosexual."
This prompted one of the two comments I think I've received on my blog (two of which came from her, I believe). I would like to clarify that yes, for the Prince connection alone, Mockarena and I would've become friends. However, we are also friends for the following other 10 random reasons (and this list excludes the 10,000 OTHER reasons currently on the living list):
- We both love Victoria Beckham and Sarah Palin. Fascinating. We just can't look away, people.
- We both appreciate Robbie Williams' talents and penchant for grabbing his genitals (blog entry forthcoming). We especially like it when he sings either with his father or to his mother (usually surpassing Sinatra's prowess in a Sinatra song), as this parental affection shows that deep down, he's a good boy. A good boy who likes to grab his crotch as often as humanly possible.
- We both love men and have married two individual males who are, well, MEN. No hair products. No whining. No metrosexuality anywhere in their genetic makeups.
- We both think that kids are amusing as hell. Especially when you dress them up in chicken costumes at Halloween.
- We both love old 80s music and movies and appreciate all things from that beautiful, innocent, Reagan-infused era.
- We both loathe the young celebrity of today, especially those little bitches.
- We both laugh at things other people would not see as funny. Others may think this makes us sub-cerebral and just plain giggly; I say it shows that we know something that they don’t.
- We both think that Jessica Simpson looks painfully constipated while singing, and if he was not still living right this second, we would equally agree that she is Joe Cocker reincarnated as a blonde, bowel-challenged bimbo who peddles great shoes and handbags.
- We both believe Madeline Kahn was a comic friggin’ genius. And Mel Brooks was even more of a genius for showcasing that fact.
- We both love candy corn in its pumpkin-molded form (and I just found that out today, so it didn’t even make it to the real list yet).
10 reasons of 10,000. I needed to clarify, apparently. I apologize, my Mockarena friend, and will be more cautious of my words the next time. Even if I do sling a blog entry in between "I need it now!" deliverables. Like I tell my students, “Always read something more than five times before you turn it in, as Bill Gates can’t do everything for you, you lazy slackasses.” And, because I only have four readers, I can't afford to lose any. Regardless of what the Schoolhouse Rock song said, three really is NOT the magic number.
Now go read her blog one more time (shameless plug #14 - www.themockdock.com) so she can get on 20/20 again and let me represent her from a public relations perspective (I want to personally hijack and shave John Stossel's Magnum P.I. 'stache).
And so it goes. One of Daisywriter's first retractions on record.